September 18, 2009

Granny's Lost Jewelry

That's a pretty big reward for a bunch of jewelry. It was lost in the vicinity of Park Avenue so it's a good bet that these gems are probably worth way more. When I find these missing jewels, I'm gonna hold out for 100 $100 bills. Cash only.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate losing things, especially jewelry.

Christopher said...

Yes, it sucks to lose things. I lose books all the time, but then I find them.

Where do you usually lose your jewelry?

Anonymous said...

Under my bed.

Christopher said...

Is there a reward?

I am good at finding things. I'll be happy to look under your bed. No telling what I might find.

Anonymous said...

A reward? I don't have much to offer. Do you have any suggestions?

Christopher said...

I like barbecued spare ribs. A small order would be a suitable reward

Anonymous said...

OMG! I ate those for lunch!

Christopher said...

No way! C'mon, for real?

Anonymous said...

I swear! Cross my heart.

Christopher said...

Are there any ribs under your bed?

Anonymous said...

Now that is the question of the night!

Christopher said...

It sure is. What a weird coincidence about the ribs. I love them.

Anonymous said...

I love them too. Chinese food equals happiness.

Christopher said...

Looks like a reward worth collecting!

Anonymous said...

It could be. Who knows? It depends on what you like.

Christopher said...

I already said i like ribs, but i like them better when they are not under the bed.

Anonymous said...

Oh well, forget it then.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I always keep my ribs under my bed.

Anonymous said...

What is under your bed?

Christopher said...

Mr. Orange is sometimes under my bed. My glasses have been known to fall under there as well, but not very often since I try to be careful about them. Other than that there's nothing there. I should check again that I didn't leave any spare ribs under there though.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes my glasses end up under my bed too, even though I am quite careful.

Christopher said...

You'll need to make sure that your ribs don't end up in your glasses. That could be a big mess. Of course you might need your glasses to find your ribs unless you wear contacts. I don't wear them. They freak me out. I tried them once but didn't like the idea of them very much. Glasses are ok with me.

Anonymous said...

Good point. I will take your advice.

Anonymous said...

Do you have any other advice?

Christopher said...

I have lots of advice. It's not often very well received though so I hesitate to give any out.

Christopher said...

Some advice...

1. Pick your battles.

2. Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion.

3. Saying "You're being crazy" is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you.

4. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women.

5. Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for her to raid.

6. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn't embarrass you --everyone knows they're not for you.

7. Women like compliments and gifts.

8. Earning less than her shouldn't be emasculating.

9. Be on time, even if she usually isn't.

10. Don't be a pouty puppy when shopping with her.

11. Find out what her favorite flower is.

12. If you like her, then don't buy her shoes; it's bad luck.

13. Smiling and nodding aren't the same as listening.

14. It's OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum.

15. Personality goes a long way.

16. At some point she'll be more important than your mother.

17. You will never completely understand women.

Anonymous said...

Wow. You seem to have all the answers. I am sure you.are making one lucky girl very happy. Or perhaps a few.

Anonymous said...

I like your list. You are quite insightful. Quite all right.

Christopher said...

Dozens.

Christopher said...

I am good at #5 and great at #17, but terrible at #3.

Anonymous said...

You have a problem telling girls they are crazy, perhaps you should meet new girls. Maybe you should pick different adjectives to describe them.

Christopher said...

i'll work on that. any ideas where to meet them?

i am hungry for some chocolate.

Anonymous said...

Duane reade. You kill two birds with one stone.

Christopher said...

The lighting isn't very flattering in Duane Reade so maybe that would be good to identify flaws too. Speaking of birds, these perfect girls are for the birds. Though I did see Agnyess Deyn in Duane Reade once. I should have taken her picture, but she has a boyfriend anyway.

Anonymous said...

Who said they have to be perfect? Perfection is overrated. Ah, the curse of the bad lighting, but it is a good thing to identify any major flaws. If she looks good in Duane Reade, then she would look good anywhere.

Christopher said...

It sounds like you have all the answers. I am really very shallow and looks are very important to me so I'll take your wise advice to heart.

Anonymous said...

You should. Here is some more advice...always wear clean underwear. Oh, here is another morsel of my wisdom...just say "thank you" when someone compliments you.

Christopher said...

oh ok. i can't imagine getting a compliment, but if i do, i'll keep that advice in mind.